Our Dream Baby

Before Jack was born I would say “I don’t care what this baby is as long as it sleeps!!!!! (Our eldest who is now six and a half never slept properly until she was 4!) That wish was granted, Jack is a great sleeper, although a very early riser.

We had no idea that Jack would be born with Trisomy 21. Nothing was picked up in any scans. Our odds for having a baby went from one in 200 to one in 2000 after the 12 week scan, and I remember saying “What’s the chance of us being that one in 2000... she’ll be right!” I now say “We could quite easily be that one in 30 million that wins lotto!” On the 25th June 2007 11.30pm Jack was born by caesarean section 2 weeks early into a world that has accepted him for who he is. We were told in recovery that they were pretty certain that Jack had Down Syndrome but that would have to confirmed with blood tests.

All our dreams had been ripped away Darren my husband dropped his head and could hardly speak to me for days, in fact he couldn’t speak to anyone. Here was our little Dream baby and the bubble had just been burst. We weren’t expecting this….in fact we didn’t want this... Oh my god someone said ‘you do have the option of adopting the baby out”... didn’t they know how hard it was for us to have our babies?????? Our world was in turmoil. The celebration of our precious babies birth was ripped away... we didn’t call our family and friends as we couldn’t talk without bursting into tears. I have never in my life experienced so much emotion, and I have gone through some really trying stuff at times.

Jack spent the first night wrapped in my arms as Darren drove home in the darkness to our daughter, my mother who had come to help out with the new baby and his Dad who was flying out on holiday the next morning... he couldn’t tell his Dad before he left. That morning I decided that we have been blessed with two beautiful children let’s just get on with it and get this baby home.

Jack spent two weeks in Neonatal as he was very Jaundice and contracted a strep B infection. He is very fortunate not to have been born with any serious medical conditions, although we were told that there was a slight problem with his hearing. I had told our daughter that we would be home in 3 days so the two weeks was an extremely trying time for us all. Finally we got to bring our long awaited addition to the family home.

Eight months down the track I hit the wall... I fell into depression and didn’t want this life anymore... I didn’t ask for a baby with Down Syndrome... it’s not fair... my ideals in this baby were shattered... then the guilt set in... oh my god how could I think this way about our flesh and blood... he’s a little person that has every right to be in our family... the feelings and emotions just kept rolling out... when was it going to stop! I couldn’t figure out why I was feeling so bad. I had an amazing husband who is extremely supportive. Two beautiful children, a nice home, amazing friends and family... what was going on!

It was time for me to do some serious inner searching, to re gather myself and find the answers inside me. This took months of talking to my close friends and family and a psychologist who I must say shed loads of light onto everything that was going on. I took time out for just me, which is really hard when you have two children who both demand so much time in different ways. I read loads of books instead of doing the housework. I have learnt that this time for me is extremely precious. I have learnt that the time Darren and I spend together is extremely important as we are a team and we need to stay strong together. In those few months I gathered momentum to continue our Journey.

Today Jack is 16 months and life is extremely different. I have accepted the fact that we have a beautiful son who has Trisomy 21 and it is not going to stop him from becoming the amazing person that he is going to grow into. He will reach his full potential exactly the same as our daughter Jordyn will. Jack is very similar to Jordyn in a lot of ways yet so extremely different. I really appreciate those differences in loads of different ways.

Jack keeps us extremely busy, he is crawling everywhere... and I mean everywhere!!!! He is pulling up to standing on everything and now balancing with no hands!!!! He’s into absolutely everything and causing mass destruction wherever he goes!!!!

These are all milestones that in the beginning I just couldn’t see him getting to... I was blinded by a disability that now I don’t even see. Jack has this playful, curious, witty spark about him that we all just adore. Another thing Jack possesses is determination, staying power and no fear of trying anything... this is going to take him far.

It’s taken me a while to work it out, but do you know what...

Jack is my dream baby.

Submitted by Megan Robinson.